HAPPINESS ON THE JERSEY SHORE IS ALL ABOUT AVOIDING "GRENADES" (UGLY WOMEN), ACCORDING TO MIKE "THE SITUATION" SORRENTINO'S NEW BOOK "HERE'S THE SITUATION" -- AMONG OTHER THINGS, IT FEATURES ILLUSTRATIONS ON PROPER AB MAINTENANCE AND A "ONE-NIGHT STAND CHECKLIST" WHICH INCLUDES SUCH TIPS AS "THE BEST SEX IS OFTEN WITH A GRENADE-BECAUSE SHE'S SO GRATEFUL"
HE ALSO OFFERS HIS WISDOM ON SHAVING, SAYING "CHICKS DIG GUYS WITH SHAVED LEGS, MAYBE THEY'RE INTO THE MICHAEL PHELPS LOOK"
HE ALSO CLAIMS THAT, TO AVOID CATCHING COLDS (QUOTE) "BEFORE ANY CHICK GETS INTO MY BED, I MAKE HER SLIDE INTO A 200-DEGREE JACUZZI TO STERILIZE ANY BACTERIA THAT MIGHT ENDANGER MY HEALTH" -- THERE'S EVEN A PRAYER TO BE RECITED BY PLAYERS IN TRAINING: "GOD GRANT ME THE STAMINA TO SATISFY HOT CHICKS, THE COURAGE TO DENY GRENADES, AND THE WISDOM TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE" - THE BOOK HITS STORES A WEEK FROM TODAY.
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