10. Nobody wants to hear anything from your new album.
9. Never take relationship advice from Phil Spector.
8. Before shouting, ‘Hi, Seattle!’ make sure you’re in Seattle.
7. You don’t earn a cent when someone does a song about “having moves like Jagger.”
6. Everybody you meet after you become famous is only interested in you as a person.
5. Song royalties are great, but even they can’t match the guaranteed cash flow from a reverse mortgage.
4. A good way to keep yourself entertained it to sign every tenth autograph “Doris Goldblatt.”
3. Be considerate of other hotel guests – trash your room by 10pm.
2. You can’t always get what you want – like a good joke on the top-ten list.
1. You start out playing rock ’n' roll so you can have sex and do drugs… but you end up doing drugs so you can still play rock ’n' roll and have sex.